Thursday, June 25, 2009

How to Tell If Your Ex Wants to Get Back Together

If you've been spending time with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, just as friends, you may be noticing some things that don't quite fall into that category. In fact, you may be asking yourself "Does my ex want to get back together with me?" and if so, you'll want to know exactly how you should go about getting the relationship back on track.

What to Look Out For
Before you get all gung-ho, you should be confident that your ex does indeed want back into your life. Unfortunately, there's simply no way to know for certain, but there are obvious signs to look out for. Whether it's flirting, gentle touching, or just an abnormal interest in you, the signs are different for everyone.

Try to remember what it was like when you first got together. How did your ex show their interest then? If you're noticing some of the same behaviour, chances are you're onto something good. Beware when the interest is completely out of character, though, as this can be a telltale sign that your ex has other motives.

What You Should Do
Even if you're convinced that you're back in the game, you should still play it safe and play hard-to-get. Diving in head-first can startle your ex into rethinking the situation and you might find yourself being pushed away once again. Don't be surprised to find one of the reasons your ex wants to get back together is the perceived lack of interest from you.

It's only natural for you to miss each other's company, without an actual desire to be in a relationship, so playing it safe also allows time for this to pass. It's also a possibility that your ex is merely playing a game with you as payback for a perceived wrongdoing. Keeping at arm's length can avoid getting your heart broken once again.

Last Words
Taking the time to properly suss out the situation is key to ensuring you don't wind up hurting yourself. The best yardstick is your past experience. Draw from it and make the right judgement.

The desire to get back together is only a small piece of the puzzle. For the relationship to succeed, you should adopt an overall plan. Be sure to take a look at The Magic of Making Up for all the steps. Good luck!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

How to Get Back Together with Your Ex

We've all been through break-ups. For most people, that means stewing in misery for a while, then moving on in time. But what about that special one who you just can't let get away? Well, don't let them get away! If you're wondering how to get back together with your ex, there are ways that are known to work.

Figure Out What Went Wrong
The relationship broke down for a reason. If you want to get back together, the first step you need to take is to figure out that reason. This may seem obvious, but often the problem runs deeper than you might think. It may have been an isolated event, or a behavioural quirk that got out of hand. Take the time to fully understand it.

You cannot turn back time, you cannot change the past, but you can learn from your mistakes. Make sure your ex knows that you've thought it through and that you know why it ended and you've grown from it. If the problem is no longer a problem, the barriers are significantly reduced.

Control Your Actions
It goes without saying that your behaviour is critical. Many people plead with their ex, sometimes out of pure desperation, while others are looking for sympathy. Most of the time, this simply turns them away even more. Nobody wants to get back together with someone who is weak and needy. You need to stay strong.

Others turn to more sly tactics such as attempting to invoke jealousy. Actions like this are among the most destructive. This gives the impression that the relationship has well and truly sailed. If you have already moved on, they will be compelled to do the same.

Last Words
Sometimes, there is a fine line between appearing strong and appearing to have moved on completely. Be sure to walk it carefully. Try not to lose contact, but make sure you aren't coming across as desperate.

These tips should be used as part of an overall plan in order to be most effective. Please check out The Magic of Making Up for more information and detailed strategies. Good luck!

Secret to Getting Your Ex to Return Your Calls

If you've just broken up, you probably have plenty that you want to talk about, or just really miss hearing your ex's voice. There's nothing worse than ringing constantly, only to have your calls ignored or rejected. It won't be long before you're sick of leaving unanswered messages and voice mails.

But there is a way to subtly persuade them to return your calls. Believe it or not, there is a secret that can make all the difference and compel them to want to speak to you. It's not mind control, it's psychology. All it takes is a well thought out voicemail or text message.

What Not to Say
We'll start with what you shouldn't say. There are two things that people commonly do out of desperation, which hardly ever have the desired effect and will put you and the relationship you're trying to save in a horrible psychological position. These are the plead and the fake emergency.

"Please, please call me Ben. I need to talk to you, I've called a hundred times..."
Pleading makes you look weak and speaks nothing of your willingness to work out problems, cementing why the relationship ended in the first place.

"Sarah, this is an emergency. Please call me as soon as possible..."
Faking an emergency is no better. When it's inevitable revealed that there actually was no real emergency, the situation quickly goes from bad to worse.

Utilize Self-Interest and Curiosity
Two of the more powerful human emotions are self-interest and curiosity, so it makes sense that combining them can produce some strong results. Try to think of a way to do this using this generic example as a starting point.

"Hi Ben, it's Sarah. I know you might not want to talk to me right now and that's okay. I just wanted to thank you for what you did for me. I really appreciate it. Take care of yourself, okay?"

In this case, Ben will struggle to avoid the temptation to find out exactly what it was that he did for Sarah. It's made even more compelling by the fact that he feels appreciated. Clearly, there needs to be a reasonable explanation, or this is no better than the emergency approach, but the smallest things can mean the most.

Last Words
Be sure to think everything through before you leave your message. If you rush into it and make a blue, it can be severely damaging to your cause. What you do before and after you finally get that call is much more important than the call itself.

This move alone won't save your relationship. It should be used as part of an overall plan of action to have the desired results. Please check out The Magic of Making Up for more information and complete strategies. Good luck!